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Footsteps

I’ve always loved the sound of footsteps. My own footsteps, to be exact. Not that I don’t like other people’s; they just don’t mean the same to me.

I was in one of those pretentious moods that makes you over-think everything as I walked home from the bus stop this evening and I discovered that I love the sound of my own footsteps because it’s proof of my existence. It’s the sound of your body touching the earth – it says ‘I’m here and I’m real and I’m part of this world.’ I think that’s why people like making footprints, too – in the snow or the sand. It’s your imprint left on the surface of the world.

Which is important because we all feel lost from time to time.

And I guess that’s also why people blog.

That and to share – to reach out in the hope that someone will understand, will have experienced the same thing or thought about it in the same way. Or perhaps they hadn’t but now that you’ve said it, it makes sense to them.

Here’s hoping.

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Just a quick one…

…to say I’m still alive and had a breakthrough on my novel today.

No, I hadn’t written since the last time (25th July). Yes, that’s terrible. I’m a terrible writer. So what’s new?

But I’m excited again and that’s the main thing.

Sometimes you need a break, you know? I knew something was wrong. I even knew what was wrong. I just didn’t know how to fix it.

And part of me is thinking: this won’t fix it. You’ll just hit another brick wall. And it’s probably right but you know what? That’s just how writing goes. It’s essentially problem-solving, always with another problem to solve . I wonder, do you ever get to the end? Do you ever reach a point where there are no more problems? I guess not because then it would be perfect. Maybe you just get so worn down by all the problems that you just can’t solve any more and you give up and throw it at an agent to deal with.

And then they point out more problems and this time you have to solve them because a professional pointed them out to you.

That’s how it goes for me at work, actually. I draft and I edit and then I get bored and I go ‘huh. Close enough.’ and pass it on to my boss who reads it and says ‘NO’ and points out all the things he wants changing. And sometimes they’re simple like ‘add a comma here’ but sometimes I have to think of a new word or a way of phrasing a sentence, just so it ‘works’, because even though I knew it didn’t work before I passed it to him, I wouldn’t actually do anything  until he underlined it and told me to. And so it gets a little better and then we both give up and that’s that.

Makes you wonder about self-published books. I guess the writers just pay an editor. Or have more staying-power.

Oh right, the breakthrough. Should I tell you? It might jinx it. Nah, it won’t jinx it. What a load of nonsense. It may make me look foolish when it turns out not to be the answer I’m looking for but hey. We’ve covered that. Mistakes aren’t stupid, they’re human and they enable you to learn and grow so nuuuur.

The Breakthrough

What is currently the prologue will be the epilogue. This means I can start with the dream as the prologue and then end the first chapter with Diana’s arrival. Boom! Straight in the story, cutting all the boring crap right out of there with a knife so sharp, it doesn’t even touch it.

Yeah? Yeah?!

I’m tired.

Goodnight.

Thoughts?

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Dog in a hat

So I’m back. I haven’t written since whenever I last wrote. Apparently that was 25th July. Pretty long time ago. Croatia was hot. But I saw a dog in a hat. Here, I’ll show you:

Dog in a hat

Look at his grumpy face! Grumpy face! It’s too hot for hats, that’s what he’s thinking. And it was. It was.

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Holiday!

Apologies for my lack of blogging over the last few days – I was swallowed up by The Hunger Games trilogy. If you’ve read them, you know what I’m talking about. If not, you should. They’re not literary masterpieces but when the action gets going you won’t care. You won’t even notice. The ending was very abrupt – I wanted more on life after – but hey. They were still cracking books. So if you’re being a snob, get over it.

Right then. I’m also sending my apologies for my lack of blogging over the coming days, due to the fact that I’m going on holiday. Whoop whoop! But I’ll be back. In just over a week.

Try not to miss me too much!

LB

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Me vs the AntiWrite 7 & 8: 24th and 25th July 2013

I forgot to blog yesterday because I was so busy…WRITING!

Yesterday, I wrote 1,963 words! Pretty good, right?

And so far today I’ve written 1,776. I say so far because I fully intent to churn out another thousand. Maybe do a #1k1hr. (Twitter thing for those not on twitter).

So…yeah, I guess that’s me: 2, AntiWrite: 0.

Suck on that, AntiWrite.

UPDATE: final word count for 25th…2,616. BOOM.

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Me vs the AntiWrite 6: 23rd July 2013

It’s late. I failed. Today, the AntiWrite possessed my dad and distracted me with ludicrous faff about my holiday next week: travel insurance and money and stupid things like that. I now have travel insurance, thank you, but it’s 11:45pm and my hair needs washing. So I guess I’ll get up ridiculously early to do that. Thanks, AntiWrite, you bastard.

AntiWrite: 1

Me: 0

Words: 0

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Me vs the AntiWrite 5: 22nd July 2013

Didn’t write at lunch. Got home. Watched an hour long TV programme (about what makes us humans – love that kind of thing, found it really inspiring actually – summary: big, complex brains, we learn knowledge more than are born with it, and need culture and other humans to be truly human – it’s all about cooperation.) Wrote until dinner and again after dinner. Managed 1,605. Pretty, pretty…pretty good.

Me: 1

AntiWrite: 0

Words: 1,605

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Meh. (Or Me vs the AntiWrite 4: 21st July 2013, rambling style)

So I’m supposed to be writing but have absolutely no idea what happens next and I know it doesn’t matter cause it’s a first draft and won’t make the final cut, anyway, but still. Figured I’d blog about it and see if that helped. So far, it isn’t. And I’m incredibly tired and would quite like to go to sleep, even though it’s only 9 o’ clock. And Emma Chapman has been on twitter but not replied to me. Which is rude. But maybe she will reply but is just thinking about what to say – it was a pretty weird tweet; I don’t think I’d know how to react. Couldn’t go wrong with a simple ‘thank you’, though, could she?

What happens next?

The situation is this: it’s the evening of the day Diana arrived. They’ve all been arguing a lot. Diana and Duncan had a huge fight and she was repacking – throw everything at the suitcase style – and Cathy asked her to stay so she is now and they just put her room back in order.

Now what?

The thing is, I’m not sure where Duncan is, at the mo. which would obviously make a difference because I’m thinking they’ll both be avoiding him, unless Diana decides to confront him, but I can’t see that happening, actually.

And I’m concerned that if I force myself to write, it’ll be the wrong thing, but maybe that’s just the AntiWrite talking.

Sigh.

I have written 304 words today. Pathetic, right? Still, I guess it’s better than nothing.