Weekly Update: On Doctors and Ducks

This morning I went to the doctor for more migraine drugs and to ask about the lump on my wrist. The drug she offered could either be an injection or a nasal spray. I opted for the spray and she laughed and said she’d not really been offering me the injection. I’m not sure why she mentioned it. Maybe she thought I should know how older sufferers have to deal with migraines (apparently an injection would not phase them as that’s what used to be more common) or she just thought it would make the drug sound cooler and more dramatic. I wonder what would have happened if I’d demanded the injection… Either way, I’ve got me an anti-migraine nasal spray, which I’m pretty excited about, especially as it was free. That’s right – free! Apparently the Scottish don’t charge you for prescriptions. Fucking amazing!

(If any English politicians are reading this – you really need to learn from the Scots. Come on, we shouldn’t have to pay for medicine. Sort it out.)

About the lump. It’s a ganglion, which the doctor got pretty excited about. She said it’s caused by overuse. I like to think it’s an occupational hazard from writing too much. In reality it’s probably from dragging my suitcase around (seeing as I noticed it on the train) but hey! I’m still gonna call it ‘writer’s wrist’. She said there’s no need to do anything about it unless it gets huge and that I should look them up on google images to see how huge they can get.

Mine pretty much looks like this

But they can look like this

She also told me a story about the traditional cure. Apparently they used to drop Grey’s Anatomy (a big, old medical book, not the TV series) on the ganglion and it would burst it. They did it to one of her colleagues, I think she said when they were training, but she didn’t recommend it because it really hurt. I got the feeling she’d been waiting to tell that story for a while, hence her excitement on seeing mine.

On my way home I walked by the river and gained a following of ducks. It’s probably because I’d bought bread and they could smell it. One female was particularly keen – power-waddling towards me like her life depended on it. I confess that I led them on by stopping to look back at them and let them catch up a few times. Pretty cruel – I should’ve just given them some bread – but they were so funny to watch, I couldn’t help myself.

Sorry ducks. Sucks.


2 thoughts on “Weekly Update: On Doctors and Ducks

  1. Writer’s wrist sounds awesome. You’re making me wish I suffered from it, because then I could bandy it about. ‘Oh that? Yeah, it’s writer’s wrist.’ I think I’d swell with self-importance every time I say it, and then I would burst.

    Poor ducks. You are MEAN.

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