Flash Fiction: Twihard

‘Er…what are you doing?’

Megan twitches her head over her shoulder. ‘Nothing. I was just…’ She shifts her body, blocking his view of the pan.

‘Did you just…?’


In two strides Mark is beside her. He grabs her arm, thrusting her round to face him. Blood oozes from the cut. A drop lets go of her wrist and falls to the floor.

‘Were you…bleeding…into the dinner?’

‘Umm…’ Megan’s eyes avoid his.


‘Well, OK, so, there’s something I have to tell you.’


‘Mark…I’m a vampire.’

Mark just stares at her, his mouth open. The top left of his lip is pulled up with an invisible hook. ‘You’re a what?’

‘I’ve been drinking blood for ages. Ever since we got together. I’m not sure how long it takes for the process to…but I’m guessing that I’m pretty much a vampire now, so.’


‘I just wanted us to be together. Forever. And you know how I’ve always wanted a vampire for a boyfriend.’

‘I thought you were joking, I mean, vampires aren’t real.’

‘Then what am I?’ She stares up at him, her lips pursed.

‘Look, Megan, this is crazy. I know you really like Twilight and everything but come on. It’s a movie. It isn’t real.’

‘I know that. I’m not an idiot. But that doesn’t mean vampires aren’t real.’

‘What is wrong with you? This is…’ He shakes his head. ‘I can’t do this any more.’ He turns and heads for the front door.

Megan hurries after him. ‘It’s too late for that, now.’

‘What do you mean it’s too late?’

‘You think that was the first time? You’ve been eating my blood for months.’

Mark backs away.

‘You’re probably already a vampire, Mark.’

He fumbles with the front door until it swings open then staggers to the street, bends forward and retches. He wipes his mouth and looks up at her, standing in the doorway.

‘You need help.’


5 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: Twihard

  1. Brilliant Louise! And pretty much sums up perfectly what I think of Twilight. I feel dirty just typing that out. A cool word ruined…

    But like Mark I try not hold it against a person if they enjoy the books.

    And thanks for the comment on my flash. I was in a rush when I posted and will try do a revised version with your suggestions in mind soon.

  2. Thanks a lot for the comments. The worrying this is this is based on a true story – someone posted on Craig’s List that she’d been drinking her menstrual blood and feeding it to her boyfriend (without his knowledge) to turn them both into vampires. This is what Twilight has done to the world.

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