Weekly Update: The Emotional Bungee Jump

So this week’s been a bit of a crazy one. And it’s all thanks to NaNoWriMo.

As you know (if you were paying attention last week) my brother was up to visit until Tuesday. So I saw him off at the bus stop and then headed straight to the library to get some books out and CATCH UP. I then spent the rest of Tuesday and pretty much all of Wednesday in a haze of dysphoria. By Thursday I was plummeting. I hated my novel. I hated writing. I hated myself.

Then I had a breakthrough. My novel did have a plot. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. And if my novel wasn’t so bad, maybe I wasn’t either.

Since then I’ve tumbled through the world in a state of euphoria. Grinning and giggling for no reason. My novel is everything. It’s all I can think about. I tear myself away at about 3am and collapse into bed only to lie awake for hours thinking about it. I forget to eat. And when I remember that I probably should eat, it seems like a chore. In me, this is normally the sign of a grave illness. My room is a state. Dirty pots have been piling up in the kitchen (sorry!) I think I’m in love.

And it’s not good for me.

It’s a good job I’m nearly done (only 5,560 words to go!) because I really don’t know how much longer I could go on like this.

This novel could kill me but it would be so worth it.


2 thoughts on “Weekly Update: The Emotional Bungee Jump

  1. Louise: This might be my favorite of your posts. It is absolutely fantastic to imagine you at your computer amid piles of clothes and unwieldy stacks of pots. (Yes, I realize that you’re pots are actually in the kitchen, but I prefer imagining it all together).

    Also, I had to look up dysphoria, even though I had a basic idea what it would mean, and it is a really excellent word.

    I hope I see you at 2 so that I can be sure you’re still alive and in love.

    • I stumbled across that word completely by accident and it was just perfect.

      I’m glad you enjoy imagining me like that. It’s how I like to imagine myself, too. Wasn’t such a good look for the auditor, though. If she’d waited ’til Wednesday, she wouldn’t have had to be subjected to that. I nearly excused myself by saying ‘sorry, I’m writing a novel at the moment’ but wasn’t sure how well that would go down…

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