Shouting at Pigeons

I’ve been allowing myself to be mad in public. Everyone’s at least a bit mad, right, it’s just we normally hide or repress it in front of others. For some reason, I just haven’t been doing that.

Today, I went into town to meet my boyfriend for lunch. We bought some pork baguettes and sat on a bench in town. As usual in such situations, we’d only been there for a minute or so when a pigeon started strutting about nearby, eyeing our baguettes. This annoyed me. I kicked at the pigeon. It flew maybe a meter away and then proceeded to creep back. So, I kicked at it again. It did the same thing. At this point I started to get really mad. I got up and chased the pigeon. I chased it so far it flew off back to where I had been sitting. Then I really lost it.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you, pigeon? Get the fucking hint, yeah. Fuck off.’

My boyfriend felt the need to intervene. He told me that I was embarrassing myself and should just sit down and finish my baguette. It was too late to reason with me.

‘Why should I have to sit here while it pecks at my feet for scraps? I bought this food. Why should it get my crumbs? It’s fucking rude.’

Meanwhile the pigeon was sneaking in behind me, as though it thought I wouldn’t foresee this possibility.

‘As if!’ I jumped up and chased the pigeon again.

My boyfriend tried to explain that the pigeon would always come back, no matter how many times I chased it.

‘It needs to learn.’

‘It won’t learn. It’s a pigeon. It lacks the ability to reason.’

The pigeon was creeping back again. This time I caught its eye and gave it a cold stare of warning. And guess what? It turned and walked away.

Maybe pigeons can’t reason or learn but they do understand a cold stare when they get one.


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