So remember I had that week off to get my Masters applications in? Well, I have now heard back from all of them. I’ve had 2 straight up offers, 1 invitation for interview and 1 rejection. The funny thing is, the 1 rejection was from the university I only applied to because I thought I’d be more likely to get in – my old uni, UEA. So, I’m not good enough for UEA any more. You know what? That’s fine ’cause I am good enough for St Andrew’s. That’s right people, I got into St Andrew’s. No interview, no conditions, just ‘you’re in mate.’ OK, not in those words but it was a very friendly ‘just to let you know so you don’t have to wait for the letter’ email.
The other offer was from Glasgow. They responded so quickly – less than a week after I sent my form. Obviously, I was thrilled. Whatever happened after that point, I was doing an MLitt in Creative Writing in Scotland. Glasgow was my second choice, after St Andrew’s. I didn’t mind whether or not I got in anywhere else at this point – getting in to St Andrew’s would just be an incredible bonus. I didn’t keep my hopes up.
Then I heard from Brunel. They invited me to come for an interview. I thought about it for a while. I did like the course at Brunel but not as much as at Glasgow. All in all, I’d prefer to go to Glasgow and I had an unconditional offer from them. So I sent Brunel a ‘thanks but no thanks’ email. It was nicer than that, I hope. Made me quite nervous, mind, burning that bridge. I was a little paranoid that my place at Glasgow would somehow fall through. That they’d decided they’d made a mistake or something. (I feel that way about St Andrew’s now, to be honest.)
Then I got the letter from UEA. As a writer, I know a form rejection when I see it. I’ve got to say I was almost as shocked that UEA rejected me as I was that Glasgow gave me an offer. I mean, they knew me at UEA, my references were both by UEA tutors. I got onto the massively oversubscribed BA course – what had I done wrong since then? I am a little offended in a way. I can’t help wondering if it’s because they knew me – I never really got on with C and he is kind of in charge of the MA course. What did he do?
Not that it matters, of course, I mean, I’m good enough for St Andrew’s, who gives a shit what UEA thinks?
I’m tempted to wander onto campus, find C and rub a print-out of my acceptance email in his face and say, ‘Suck on that, you pretentious dick.’
I won’t of course. The truth is, it’s very unlikely that he even remembers me. Plus it would be embarrassing.
(I’m now a little worried that I have unresolved C issues of some nature. He never really ‘got’ my dissertation and I had a startlingly similar temptation when I got a high 2.1 for it. Perhaps my natural self-obsession and consequent paranoia are spiralling out of control…Meh, it’s all good writing material, right?)
So I’m going to St Andrew’s. I’m doing an MLitt in Creative Writing at St Andrew’s. Because they gave me a place. St Andrew’s.
No, I’m not rubbing it in, well, maybe I am but that’s not my intention. I’m just finding it really difficult to believe it. Nay, impossible. (Ah it felt to use a Scottish word, there – justified, you know?) I felt the same about Glasgow. I just couldn’t work out why. Why would they give me a place? What had I done right? To be honest, I’m not even high enough on the scale of believing it to wonder that about St Andrew’s. Part of me thinks it’s a sick joke – C again? (Seriously – what is wrong with me?) I won’t believe it at all until I get the letter. I’m going to be watching my letter box (well – slot) like a dog – lying in the hallway with my floppy ears hanging by my face, looking up and wagging my tail every time I hear movement outside only to be disappointed and lay my head back down on my front paws with a look of deep sadness in my big eyes.
Is it just me or did I take that metaphor too far?