Alcohol: the Fountain of Youth?

Last night I went to the pub for my good friend Ryan’s first photography exhibition – the pub might seem like an odd place for that sort of thing for some of you, but when you bear in mind the fact that I live in Norwich, it makes a little more sense. His exhibition was part of the Rumsey Wells’ Art in the Underbelly thing and focused on his photography of live musicians, so naturally there were bands playing. That’s all well and great but the thing is, it happened to fall in my sober week. Yes, I’m doing a sober week, partly because I seem to have lost the ability to know my limit, to the end that the last time I had a couple of drinks with a friend I ended up vomiting everywhere, and partly in support of someone very dear to me who I think would benefit from a break from the old alcohol – not that he’s an alcoholic or anything, I just think it would do him good.

The thing about pubs when you’re sober is: they’re not all that. Alcohol just makes everything more interesting and fun, including yourself, which was kindly pointed out to me by a rather rat-arsed friend in the most nonsensical manner (he tried to say people, i.e. me, are more interesting when they’re drunk but actually said less interesting and argued with me about his choice of words for a good 5 minutes before acknowledging that he was, in fact, being an idiot.) It turns out that being sober when everyone around you is getting drunk is, well, sobering. You see alcohol in a different light – as a wit-stripping, de-evolving reducer of humanity. I mean, think about it, people can’t manage the most basic functions when drunk: talking, walking, even standing. If you’re really pissed you can’t even sit upright, it’s like being reduced to a baby, pre all those important stages of development.

So, am I off alcohol for life? Definitely not. I hated being the judgemental outsider. Turns out I’d much rather be one of the infantile masses – a nonsense-slurring, swaying, clumsy mess. Why? Because it’s fun.

P.S./ O.T./ In Other News: I’ve just given this blog a bit of a sort out – see improved title and new tagline. I’ve also ditched the Excerpts page (it’s kind of mean, isn’t it? Posting excerpts in an attempt to get people to buy the whole?) and updated the Works in Progress page. Enjoy and/or give feedback.


One thought on “Alcohol: the Fountain of Youth?

  1. I tried a sober night out in a pub once, and actually quite enjoyed it! It’s tough, and I can see it could easily be very boring, but if you get it right you can freeload off everyone else’s excited moods (sharing many of the benefits, if everyone else is being drunkenly silly it’s easy to do so too) while at the same time staying super sharp and aware, which means you get to look/feel ultra intelligent and witty, just because everyone else is so dulled by the alcohol. People have a discussion of any kind of complexity (so basically just not, “What TV you watchin?”, “Show Blah Blah” “Oh yeah, I love that show!” “Yeah, it rocks” “…” “…” “Another drink?”) and you know what a someone’s trying to express often before they do themselves, and a million years before everyone else! So you see where everyone;s coming from, why they’re disagreeing, how they’re misunderstanding it all, and get to clear it all up! Fun times, not gonna do it often, as it does have it’s REALLY DULL moments, but not only bad 🙂

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