Checked my emails today. (Not very exciting, I know, bear with me.) Found one from a publishers I’d submitted to. I couldn’t remember what I’d submitted or much about the publishers but I opened the email, expecting the usual. You know – ‘Thank you for submitting x. We regret to inform you that your submission has been unsuccessful this time.’ followed by me staring at the words trying to feel something other than small and empty and think something other than ‘failure’.
So, I was reading the email, well, scanning it for those key words – ‘regret’ and ‘unsuccessful’ and then a different word jumped out at me: ‘pleased’. My immediate thought was, ‘that’s pretty harsh, being pleased that I failed’ but then I figured I’d better read the email a little closer, just in case. Another word jumped out at me: ‘accepting’. This completely threw me. Just didn’t make sense to me at that time. As I read on, it began to seep into my mind: they had accepted my story. They wanted me to sign a contract and return it. They wanted to publish it in their anthology.
I have to keep reading the email to make sure it really happened and I would not be surprised to get another saying it was a mistake or a joke. Also, I keep squealing to myself. I guess that’s a side-effect.
So, I’m sorry to have to tell all you other authors this. I know how embittering it is to read about someone else’s success. Hate me while you congratulate me – I’ll understand. OK, so I’m not sorry but you know what I mean.
Just to rub it in a tad more – is it just me or is reading that email or letter the single best feeling you can experience as a human being? Better than falling in love and feels fairly similar to that, actually. Definitely better than sex. Who’s with me?