Writers’ Excuses

‘I don’t have time.’

If you don’t have time, how do you exist? Are you somehow outside of time or are you just dead?

‘I have to do the washing up/ cook dinner/ clean the bathroom.’

Is it essential to your survival that you do that right now?

‘I’m too tired.’

So write sitting down. No-one’s asking you to run a marathon.

‘I’ve been working hard all day – I deserve a break.’

So take one – you can have 5 minutes.

‘I can’t be bothered.’

So don’t bother but you’ll never be a writer.

‘I don’t know what to write about.’

There’s your topic – now write.

‘My muse has abandoned me.’

Maybe he/she got fed up of your whining.

‘I don’t have my lucky pen. I can’t write without it.’

If you need a particular pen to be able to write, you can’t write at all.

‘I’m no good, anyway.’

Not writing is the best way to continue that state of being.

‘I’m too depressed.’

No – you’re just the right amount of depressed to write something depressing.

‘I have to have no conversation with anyone before writing, and the postman said “hello” to me this morning.’

Get over yourself you pretentious –.

Got any more? Post your comment – no excuses.

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5 thoughts on “Writers’ Excuses

  1. Lol, you really don’t like writing after talking to the postman??? That’s crazy! I use 3, 4 and 5 all the time, but I’ve never cone close to anything like that.

    You forgot the best one though, “I can do it tomorrow”, works perfectly until the day of a deadline. But I guess you don’t have deadlines, so how do you ever actually get anything done???

    • I stole that postman excuse from another writer – he said that he had to go for a walk as soon as he was up and dressed and if he spoke to anyone in the morning, the whole day’s work would be written off.

      Thanks for the suggestion (how could I miss that?) I’ll add it to the list.

  2. I love the response to my muse has abandoned me. Thanks so much for sharing these.
    My usual one is that the computer has broken down or my eyes are tired from using the computer at work. I know the answer is simply hand writing notes and typing them up the next day but more often I put off writing until the next day.

  3. This was very amusing. I especially liked your response to the first excuse: ‘Are you somewhere out of time or are you just dead?’ It does seem like there are a lot of zombies wondering around these days. This was a great read, very entertaining (and you made a good point as well). Bravi.

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